Arachnaphobia

So I don’t just cook.  Surprising, right?  I also do biology stuff, some of which involves frolicking running about in the great outdoors.  I think I’m a pretty critter friendly kind of gal.

I’ve rescued baby birds and squirrels, and even rats.  Rescued a few grown squirrels, too (from the cats).  Word to the wise, they bite like, well…rodents.  A can/squirrel grabber or thick gloves can be very handy in these situations.

Kitchen Kat is not the culprit in that story.  He is definitely indoor only kitteh material.  Like, afraid to stick more than his head out the door!  The kitchen is a good place for him 🙂

I really don’t even mind insects.  But spiders…. we’re talking a whole different ballgame here, kids.

I think I was initially warped by that whole Little Miss Muffett thing.  Then I found out what curds and whey are, and was further warped.

When I was a kid, we lived out in the country.  In the woods, by the bayou.  Sound familiar?  And yes, this is the place I’m actually planning on building our palace on the bayou!

One memorable night, a spider crawled out of my hair onto my face while I was trying to get to sleep.  This was the first infringement of my personal space by the aforementioned beasties.  Needless to say, Mom and Dad were not amused by the bloodcurdling screams issuing from my bedroom after lights out.  Especially after they saw the tiny culprit on my bed.  Sensibly, I had abandoned said bed and was clinging halfway up the built-in bookcases on the other side of the room.

There were always the banana spiders.  At least, that’s what we called them.  Big, but at least they mostly stayed in the trees.

Unless you weren’t watching where you were going and walked into a web.  That story ends up with a GIGANTIQUE spider plastered across your face.  😦

Then there was the night of the tarantula.  Now, there are tarantulas that live in the woods out there.  Large wolf spiders are much more common, but the occasional tarantula happens.  When I saw the tarantula in my bedroom, I ran into the other room to get my Dad, as there was no way in Hell I was getting close enough to combat the huge thing.

Guess what?

I never slept in that room again.

I suppose I should be thankful that we of the Western Hemisphere do not have any species of spider that eagerly looks to take on a human.  And wins.

I hear stories from Australia that make my toes curl.

Meet the Sidney Funnel Web spider.  With inch long fangs that will pierce LEATHER.

Those inch long fangs dripping venom make a tarantula look friendly.  Almost cuddly.

Remember that trip of a lifetime to Australia that you always wanted to take BEFORE you learned that almost all of the wildlife, terrestrial, aquatic, and marine, as well as the plants, were just waiting for their window of opportunity to kill your goofy butt for invading their territory?

Don’t know about you, but I’ll be going to New Zealand.  I like sheep.  Sheep are just fine. As a bonus, they only have 4 legs!

Even when they insist on nibbling at my clothing.

Jackets are replaceable.  😛

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. LC Aggie Sith
    Nov 01, 2012 @ 22:45:29

    You know, tarantulas ARE cuddly. At least mine was 😉

    But yeah, everything in Oz is just waiting to kill you!

    Reply

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